btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
