Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
