I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Randomize
