I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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