problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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