Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
