i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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