well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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