yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
