Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
