So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
