im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
