I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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