Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize