Me. At least after what I've been through.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
there is glitter all over my balls
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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