YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
