I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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