SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
