He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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