Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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