A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
