Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
