sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
