two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
