I love black thongs
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Randomize
