You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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