I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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