Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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