Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
