i permit you to call me
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
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You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
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Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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