If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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