sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
