Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
So apparently I’m into choking now
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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