It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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