Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
