Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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