Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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