I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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