I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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