it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
