yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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