Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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