If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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