i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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