New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize