i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
