my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize