after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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