A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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