Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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