don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
