I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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