my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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