If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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