tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
