im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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