shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
This is classic penis vs brain.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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