I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
