I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I wear drunk well.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
