so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
