Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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