i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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